Tall Tales | The Stone Philosophic

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“Now the Sidehill Basher is always gonna be facing thuh other way from the Sidehill Grabber, I mean. If’n it faces the same way, thuh Grabber will git the dang thing fer sure, but if’n the Basher faces the Gabber as its comin’, well then it has a chance. …a goodun too! You see a Sidehill Basher will flat knock a Basher raht off thuh side o’ thuh hill. Then it runs a ways forward raht quick, jess to make sure the Grabber can’t come back an’ git it. If’n the Grabber lives through thuh bash and the subsequent fall, that is.

…oh yeah! Fergot ta’ say. You don’t want ta’ git too close to a Basher. It’s liable ta’ mistake ye’ fer a Grabber, er maybe it just don’t care. Dang things are prone ta’ knock most anything off the side o’ thuh mountain. Best ta’ keep away from ’em, my wahf use ta’ say. …sure do wish she’da follered her own advahs.”

– Maddoch Riwarden, Mountain Scout

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A Sidehill Basher appears to be a large and very sturdy mountain goat. Its legs on one side are typically twice the size of those on the other, making it perfectly suited to life on steep mountain slopes, providing, of course, that it always faces the same direction.

A Sidehill Basher spends its life grazing the shrubs and grasses on the side of a mountain top, always moving in the same direction. If Sidehill Grabbers are present, then all the Sidehill Bashers on any given mountain will be facing the same direction (as the Grabbers will have eaten up those facing the other way.

Sidehill bashers are known to be very cranky. They will happily butt heads with any creature they see coming the other way. If it can, this creature will do its best to knock a victim clear off a ledge and down the side of a cliff.

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“If you can get just get to his other side yer safe! Dern thing can’t turn around without fallin’ down the side o’ the mountain.”

– Maddoch Riwarden, Mountain Scout

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This creature has the appearance of a large puma, but this particular puma is particularly well-suited to life in the high mountains. One may not notice at first, but both legs on one side of its body are significantly smaller than those on the other. The Side-Hill Grabber is thus perfectly balanced on a steep slope, so long as it is facing one particular direction.

Sidehill Grabbers spend their lives hunting mountain goats and mountain sheep. They are particularly fond of Side-Hill Bashers. And of course, no Sidehill Grabber will hesitate to add a dwarf or a random Ligén to its diet.

A Sidehill Grabber will typically hide just above a given mountain path or game trail and pounce on the first victim to come along. Using its claws to secure a victim and hold it in place, the Sidehill Grabber will take great care to avoid letting its victim escape or fall. A falling victim may easily bounce in the wrong direction, forcing the Sidehill Grabber to walk all the way around the mountain in order to claim its meal.

As it happens all the sidehill grabbers on a given mountain-side will always face the same direction. This is due to the odd rivalries of the kindred. While a Sidehill Grabber will rarely take any violent action against one of its own kind, provided they are both facing the same direction, it will do anything in its power to kill one coming from the other direction.