© Daniel S. Wall, April 17, 2026.

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“These bizarre little creatures have defied the narrative skills of far more eloquent people than yours truly, but I shall try my best to explain. If you can imagine a duck… now take away its wings and its feathers, lengthen it’s feat just a little bit, and replace its beak with a small elastic mouth capable of forming into a shape not unlike that of a tiny bugle. Now make the creature brightly colored. It can be any hue, but it will always be bright and, well, colorful… If you’re still with us on this, now just imagine about a dozen of them frolicking about a meadow, running around at high speed and causing all kinds of mischief. Imagine all that, and you have the general idea, sort of.

“Mucky Loons do not speak, though they use a range of toots and honks to communicate basic emotions with one another. The overall effect of their appearance and behavior is usually one of such homeliness that it somehow passes over into cuteness.”

– Arglemis Schmee, Gnome Story-teller.

***

Mucky Loons generally keep to themselves, and avoid sentient beings as much as possible. They spend their lives eating plants and small bugs and playing in the meadows and forests. When threatened, a flock of these creatures can become quite dangerous, however, swarming about a foe and bombarding it with acid spittle until even the bravest and toughest of creatures beats a hasty retreat. For most of these little creatures, that is enough, but the occasionally mean-spirited loons have been known to chase down and slay retreating foes. Most survivors will lick their wounds (carefully) and eventually go on about their lives. Should an opponent reveal himself to be a serious danger Mucky Loons will generally scatter and run away at great speed.